Saturday, April 19, 2008

Gauche and Unsophisticated List: I am so middle-American

Now when I was an angsty adolescent back in Ferndale, I longed for the day when I would escape to the wonders of college where of course I would protest, participate in open mike nights, engage in wonderfully intellectual discussions, and such.

Well...that did not happen, I found I really wasn't confrontational enough for protesting in college and I was unimpressed by the pseudo hippies at my school. College hippies annoyed me, in fact. Here were my thoughts on college hippies: oh for Pete's sake, freshman year you were waltzing about in tight, expensive outfits, and you insisted on washing your hair two days into the WOA (outdoor orientation) trip, possibly polluting the lake we were swimming in, and now all of a sudden you're wearing hemp - please! What - college a time for self discovery? Nonsense! As you see, I did continue to be slightly sanctimonious. Shocker!

Here are some other reasons why many might consider me quite representative of all that is wrong with America!

I love free refills. The one thing I really missed when I was studying abroad in Chile, was that I could not get free refills for my soda. This was very sad.

One of the main casseroles in my recipe repertoire is a chicken noodle casserole (which I so creatively named Creamy Chicken Noodles when I was five) that uses one can of cream of mushroom soup. Preservatives have never tasted so delicious.

Since living in Boston, there are times that I miss Target and Old Navy. Both of these stores are in the Boston suburbs, which are a pain in the neck to get to on public transit. One of the bigger highlights of my Spring Break - was a field trip to the suburban strip malls - it was grand.

You know those fruity or chocolately alcoholic beverages that desecrate the majesty that is liquor, I drink them, I love them. Hard alcohol is delicious when mixed with fruit juice, coconut milk, or Baileys. Also I hate scotch, beverages should not taste like BBQ smoke.

I made an effort to go to the Brookline Farmers Market this summer. While the strawberries were delicious, I found that I like having a wide variety of produce year round (when I remember to eat produce), so eating locally is never going to happen for me (no avocados, no pineapple, no thank you!). I also like being able to buy all my groceries in one place, yay convenience!

Finally, the only Barbara Kingsolver book that I liked was The Bean Trees (and I love this book), the book she wrote before she decided to lecture her readers about her issue d'jour in her novels. Yes that means that I do not think that The Poisonwood Bible was the best book ever or a new classic.

My inner seventeen year old is so ashamed right now.