So I disappeared again, and I really have no excuse, since I spent the last month or so lounging around and having my mom do my laundry. However, now I am an officially an adult and an actual lawyer (weird!) with my own one-bedroom apartment in the midwest and an actual job with a contract that is longer than the summer. Since I have only worked two days at the grown up job, I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this adulthood stuff yet.
Enough about my real life though, time for more confessions about my tragically bad taste.
First some good news!
After the horrible Mr. Boston bullying debacle I did not watch another episode of "I Love Money." Okay, so I watched about 15 minutes of the next episode. However, I found that after the bar exam that these contestants were awful, horrible, no good little twerps, and I could not root for any of them. Plus, a show watching them do nothing but form alliances and hissy fits, is dull. Yay, I have some standards! They may be low, but they are still there!
Now, the bad....
Since I had quit watching Degrassi: The Next Generation and Gossip Girl I had not been watching any cheesy teen dramas or teen dramas that rip off plot lines from 1970s storylines of Soap Operas. Then came the new, hip 90210 (because putting the city name in front of the zip code is so 1990s).
When I was in the fourth and fifth grade, I loved Beverly Hills 90210. My mom refused to let me watch the show until halfway through the fourth grade, but then I was hooked. I was glued in front of my tv set during the "Donna Martin Graduates" rally in season three. I was honestly concerned that Donna Martin would not be able to graduate because of her drunken shenanigans at prom, and I thought the school board was being totally unfair!
However, my favorite character on that show was Brenda. I thought she and Dylan were the best couple ever. When my friend LV and I would discuss 90210 in Mrs. Scheck's fourth grade class (right before Mrs. Scheck sent me to the quiet corner for being too chatty), he would always rant about what a bitch Kelly Taylor was for stealing Dylan away from Brenda and that if Brenda was able to go to Dylan's party, Dylan would have chosen her. After gently admonishing LV about swearing in class, I would agree with his general sentiment. (Somehow though, I was still shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, when LV came out senior year of high school. Sadly, I did not hone my oversensitive gaydar until college.) And in the season 4 finale when Brenda and Dylan kissed before she went to London, I was giddy. Of course then Brenda never came back and the writers decided that Kelly and Dylan were soulmates and the show got lame. So halfway through season 5, I gave it up. I think it was the first guilty pleasure show that I quit watching. Valerie would never live up to Brenda!
When I first heard about this spin off, I did not care one bit. Kelly Taylor as the guidance counselor? Lame! What was she going to do? Teach students how to steal their best friends boyfriends while being condescending and sanctimonious? However, then the showrunners managed to get Shannen Doherty, the awesome Brenda!, to return and then I was in.
I have watched every single poorly written episode. Objectively this show is not good. The interesting storylines move too fast (i.e. Silver, Kelly Taylor's much cooler sister, dealing with her mother's, Jackie Taylor - fashion show cokehead!, alcoholism). The really tedious, annoying storylines drag (i.e. Naomi, supposedly the bitch, tries to save her parents marriage and scrunches her face to show she has layers!). The lead female character, Annie Wilson, is such a "Mary Sue" (seriously students were applauding her in the hallway) and really needs some flaws and for other characters to call her on her crap already.
Somehow though I am invested already. I love Dixon and Silver! They are the new Brenda and Dylan. They are so flirty, and cute, and Dixon punched out the sleazy, inappropriate agent that was hitting on Silver, and Silver called out Dixon for presuming that making out would lead to sex. Hopefully the writers don't screw this up.
Also Brenda is back and was so-o past the high school drama, even when I thought she totally should have called Kelly on her crap in the last episode. It was glorious when she told boy toy teacher that he dodged a huge bullet by not having a relationship with Kelly, and then flounced off with him. Glorious!
I actually even like most of the new characters on this show, even Annie has her moments. If the writers would have Ethan the cardboard, yet sensitive, jock stop mooning over Annie and their summer relationship from two years ago, and give him storylines about dealing with his autistic brother and school and sports and balancing it all, then he would even be interesting. However, there is no hope for Naomi, and she should just be sent to boarding school.
Despite this, I faithfully DVR the show every Tuesday, and then watch it after Greek, so I can fast forward through all the commercials and Naomi's scenes.
At least I have a new teen show to watch, but knowing my track record with teen shows, my relationship with 90210 will probably only last about two seasons. Of course by then I will have fallen in love with another cheesy show that I will blog about.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
The Gauche and Unsophisticated List: Studying for the Bar Made Me Do Bad, Bad Things.
The reason this entry is dated July 4, is because I began typing a post about my new lows on that date. But then studying for the bar took up all of my time and I never finished the entry. So now here's an ultra long entry which contains those thoughts from so long ago as well as my bar agony.
So, I disappeared for awhile. Because the Massachusetts Bar Exam sucks...a lot. Now I know that all of the people that took bar exams that are actually considered difficult like NY and California feel no sympathy, but at least in those states you can use a laptop for the essays. I had to numb my horrific handcramps after the essay day (don't worry it was after MBE day - I was done) with Long Islands, White Zin, and drunken consumption of sushi. It was glorious. And hopefully I passed the bar, my fingers are crossed that the rumor that Massachusetts is actually Passachusetts is true, because I don't want to go through that agony ever, ever again.
Now I will be back in Washington for awhile, starting on August 5. I don't have a job yet, so I figured now would be a good time to visit, and I can do phone interviews just as easily at home with free groceries and laundry, instead of in my apartment in Boston where I actually have to pay for those things. During this trip I will be dragging poor Joooan! and RToo to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (at least RToo claims she wants to see that movie). So if I have any loyal readers left, and I know you, and you're going to be in Washington (state not DC!) too, we should get together!
However because studying for the bar was miserable that means my poor brain could not handle any other intellectual materials. I had to memorize the rules of priority for secured transactions, my brain had less space for deep symbolic messages and capability of interpreting great art than usual, and that means that the music I listened to and the TV I watched was worse than usual. Since you've been reading the blog this long, however, I doubt anything should surprise you anymore.
I could not resist the bad 1990s music:
Now I posted earlier about the tragic car break-in of summer 2004 where the inept robber cut my turn signals and stole all my CDs including "Let Go" by Avril Lavigne, and of course I was inordinately sad about this, as well as ashamed. However, in my earlier blogging days I thought I should maintain a sense of decorum and only confess my more palatable guilty pleasures, I did not mention that I was also upset that the inept thief also stole my "Runaway Horses" CD by Belinda Carlisle. Yes, the Belinda Carlisle, former lead singer of the Go-Gos. Yet, this was not ever-so-slightly punk Belinda Carlisle who had a spiky haircut, and was involved in 1980s scandal like doing coke and having unprotected sex, so at least back then she had some bad girl cachet (though remember drugs and unprotected sex are bad!). This was 1990s Belinda Carlisle, who sang cheesy power ballad esque lovesongs, and had a mom bob. By the time she released "Runaway Horses" she was happily married and wearing floaty dresses like the kind my mom was purchasing at the time. I was not listening to Top-40 Belinda, but Adult Contemporary Belinda.
I was too ashamed to purchase the CD again because I was afraid of the mockery I would face at Cellophane Square - used music store and hipster central of Whatcom County. My Aunt Squeezer originally gave me Runaway Horses along with many of her other CDs when she started listening to Christian contemporary music exclusively. When I was studying for the bar exam though, I missed those songs, especially the tragic song "Summer Rain." So I went on to You Tube, and watched the music videos. So cheesy, so nineties, so oddly comforting. And now you too can see the floaty dresses and mom bob in action.
Now in case that did not appall you enough, I also listened to Place in the World by Michael W. Smith numerous times. Michael W. Smith was one of the Christian contemporary singers of the 1990s, and Place in this World was his crossover hit. My Aunt Squeezer loves him! However, Michael W. Smith is not hip. My intervarsity friends in college most certainly did not listen to Michael W. Smith. They listened to the hipper, slightly less preachy groups like Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay. This song is on Time Life compilations where in the commercials the audience has their hands in the air and are swaying back and forth with their eyes closed! But somehow, I could not resist the siren's call.
Well, I guess you should all be slightly reassured that I did not actually by this music, but only watched on You Tube.
TV shows which may be the newest low in entertainment? I'll watch!
I also discussed earlier that I cannot resist TV shows that have competitions and obstacle courses. So of course I've watched Wipeout since the premiere. Do I care that not one person can complete the course without falling into the water or mud? Nope! Do I giggle insanely when the contestants fall off the Sucker Punch Wall and the Big Balls and when the Johns make mocking comments. Yes! Would I also try the courses if my run through them was not aired on national television. Yes! Sigh...
This is not the worst of it. Oh no, I also began watching I Love Money on VH-1. Now, I don't really watch dating reality shows. I pity all involved, and just think they are sleazy. However, now that the famewhores from I Love New York, Flava of Love, and Rock of Love aren't humiliating themselves for the love of has beens or fellow famewhores, but rather in humiliating competitions for money, of course I'll watch. (Aww hypocrisy...ain't it fun!) But even I drew the line during last week's episode when Whiteboy and Chance were mercilessly bullying Mr. Boston, so I quit watching that episode. However I will watch tonight's episode. Also I sincerely want chronic martyr and wacky laugher Rodeo to win so she can launch her BBQ sauce business and take her son to Disney World. Good lord, what is my problem?
Despite the fact that now you all know that my taste has reached new lows, I expect that you still will want to see me when I'm home.
So, I disappeared for awhile. Because the Massachusetts Bar Exam sucks...a lot. Now I know that all of the people that took bar exams that are actually considered difficult like NY and California feel no sympathy, but at least in those states you can use a laptop for the essays. I had to numb my horrific handcramps after the essay day (don't worry it was after MBE day - I was done) with Long Islands, White Zin, and drunken consumption of sushi. It was glorious. And hopefully I passed the bar, my fingers are crossed that the rumor that Massachusetts is actually Passachusetts is true, because I don't want to go through that agony ever, ever again.
Now I will be back in Washington for awhile, starting on August 5. I don't have a job yet, so I figured now would be a good time to visit, and I can do phone interviews just as easily at home with free groceries and laundry, instead of in my apartment in Boston where I actually have to pay for those things. During this trip I will be dragging poor Joooan! and RToo to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (at least RToo claims she wants to see that movie). So if I have any loyal readers left, and I know you, and you're going to be in Washington (state not DC!) too, we should get together!
However because studying for the bar was miserable that means my poor brain could not handle any other intellectual materials. I had to memorize the rules of priority for secured transactions, my brain had less space for deep symbolic messages and capability of interpreting great art than usual, and that means that the music I listened to and the TV I watched was worse than usual. Since you've been reading the blog this long, however, I doubt anything should surprise you anymore.
I could not resist the bad 1990s music:
Now I posted earlier about the tragic car break-in of summer 2004 where the inept robber cut my turn signals and stole all my CDs including "Let Go" by Avril Lavigne, and of course I was inordinately sad about this, as well as ashamed. However, in my earlier blogging days I thought I should maintain a sense of decorum and only confess my more palatable guilty pleasures, I did not mention that I was also upset that the inept thief also stole my "Runaway Horses" CD by Belinda Carlisle. Yes, the Belinda Carlisle, former lead singer of the Go-Gos. Yet, this was not ever-so-slightly punk Belinda Carlisle who had a spiky haircut, and was involved in 1980s scandal like doing coke and having unprotected sex, so at least back then she had some bad girl cachet (though remember drugs and unprotected sex are bad!). This was 1990s Belinda Carlisle, who sang cheesy power ballad esque lovesongs, and had a mom bob. By the time she released "Runaway Horses" she was happily married and wearing floaty dresses like the kind my mom was purchasing at the time. I was not listening to Top-40 Belinda, but Adult Contemporary Belinda.
I was too ashamed to purchase the CD again because I was afraid of the mockery I would face at Cellophane Square - used music store and hipster central of Whatcom County. My Aunt Squeezer originally gave me Runaway Horses along with many of her other CDs when she started listening to Christian contemporary music exclusively. When I was studying for the bar exam though, I missed those songs, especially the tragic song "Summer Rain." So I went on to You Tube, and watched the music videos. So cheesy, so nineties, so oddly comforting. And now you too can see the floaty dresses and mom bob in action.
Now in case that did not appall you enough, I also listened to Place in the World by Michael W. Smith numerous times. Michael W. Smith was one of the Christian contemporary singers of the 1990s, and Place in this World was his crossover hit. My Aunt Squeezer loves him! However, Michael W. Smith is not hip. My intervarsity friends in college most certainly did not listen to Michael W. Smith. They listened to the hipper, slightly less preachy groups like Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay. This song is on Time Life compilations where in the commercials the audience has their hands in the air and are swaying back and forth with their eyes closed! But somehow, I could not resist the siren's call.
Well, I guess you should all be slightly reassured that I did not actually by this music, but only watched on You Tube.
TV shows which may be the newest low in entertainment? I'll watch!
I also discussed earlier that I cannot resist TV shows that have competitions and obstacle courses. So of course I've watched Wipeout since the premiere. Do I care that not one person can complete the course without falling into the water or mud? Nope! Do I giggle insanely when the contestants fall off the Sucker Punch Wall and the Big Balls and when the Johns make mocking comments. Yes! Would I also try the courses if my run through them was not aired on national television. Yes! Sigh...
This is not the worst of it. Oh no, I also began watching I Love Money on VH-1. Now, I don't really watch dating reality shows. I pity all involved, and just think they are sleazy. However, now that the famewhores from I Love New York, Flava of Love, and Rock of Love aren't humiliating themselves for the love of has beens or fellow famewhores, but rather in humiliating competitions for money, of course I'll watch. (Aww hypocrisy...ain't it fun!) But even I drew the line during last week's episode when Whiteboy and Chance were mercilessly bullying Mr. Boston, so I quit watching that episode. However I will watch tonight's episode. Also I sincerely want chronic martyr and wacky laugher Rodeo to win so she can launch her BBQ sauce business and take her son to Disney World. Good lord, what is my problem?
Despite the fact that now you all know that my taste has reached new lows, I expect that you still will want to see me when I'm home.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Gauche and Unsophisticated List: Where I Earn the Scorn of All English Majors and Professors, Bluestockings, and Book Critics
Now, I love to read. I've even been known to read decent books on occassion - I highly recommend The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, and I swear at some point I will finish Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. However, there is one whole genre of novels I cannot stand, and that is novels about Suburban Lives of Quiet Desperation. Here's a few examples: Empire Falls, A Spot of Bother, The Corrections. I hate them, and find them pretentious yet dull.
"But why, Miss Royalturkey?" you ask, "Such novels reflect gritty realism, and they're so edgy." Well dear readers, I don't find them edgy, and all that "grit" is so damn repetitive. Here's a list of tedious plot elements:
* Middle aged man suffers crisis, or has some small life decision to make that takes at least three hundred pages for him to decide
* Said middle aged man is so distant from his wife or significant other and the couple can no longer relate to each other
* Wife is having an affair because distant, minor crisis ridden husband no longer relates to her because they have been married for thirty years, and husband has worked outside the home for the entire time they have been married, and the wife was supposed to be submissive, so she never told him what she wants. Of course during this affair she finally has an orgasm for the first time in her life.
* Quietly dysfunctional couple also has quiet dysfunctional relationships with their children.
* Characters may have a hobby, but they don't really enjoy said hobbies, they just do them because it has become so tragically routine.
* Characters contemplate their bodily functions and/or genitalia, so authors can prove how "edgy" they are.
* Lots of cursing! Because edgy!
* Lots of long supposedly creative metaphors, which may involve discussion of genitalia or bodily functions (a two-fer)
Now I don't mind repetitive plot points. I'm always a sucker for quirky characters and wacky hijinks, but these plot points are so dull. I don't need all plot points in books to be huge or momentous, but these books never even depict the simplicity or every day routines of these characters lives in an interesting way, so I am just bored. I realize that everyday life is not that exciting. But if you insist on writing about everyday life, authors, you still have to make me care. However the authors of these books never do.
Further, the authors think it is enough to explain what is going on these characters lives, but they never really give me a reason to care about these characters. These characters are merely stock types that are really not that different from one book to another, their minor crises are just a bit different. Further, not only are they stock characters (because two-dimensional wacky characters still amuse me), these characters are miserable, and the only other character trait besides being miserable is that they are unable to communicate with those they love. I don't want to read at least three hundred, if not four hundred, pages of characters being miserable and unable to communicate and therefore becoming more miserable. These characters are just as two dimensional as their more entertaining counterparts (The wacky grandma! The nosy neighbors! The overly intrusive family! ), and even worse they are not even entertaining or interesting.
I really do not understand why these books garner such acclaim. Is it really that interesting that authors use the words fuck and penis, write overly involved metaphors, and explain the everyday minutiae of life in a step by step way? Is it supposed to be innovative that not one character is happy or at least has some interesting character traits? I hope not.
"But why, Miss Royalturkey?" you ask, "Such novels reflect gritty realism, and they're so edgy." Well dear readers, I don't find them edgy, and all that "grit" is so damn repetitive. Here's a list of tedious plot elements:
* Middle aged man suffers crisis, or has some small life decision to make that takes at least three hundred pages for him to decide
* Said middle aged man is so distant from his wife or significant other and the couple can no longer relate to each other
* Wife is having an affair because distant, minor crisis ridden husband no longer relates to her because they have been married for thirty years, and husband has worked outside the home for the entire time they have been married, and the wife was supposed to be submissive, so she never told him what she wants. Of course during this affair she finally has an orgasm for the first time in her life.
* Quietly dysfunctional couple also has quiet dysfunctional relationships with their children.
* Characters may have a hobby, but they don't really enjoy said hobbies, they just do them because it has become so tragically routine.
* Characters contemplate their bodily functions and/or genitalia, so authors can prove how "edgy" they are.
* Lots of cursing! Because edgy!
* Lots of long supposedly creative metaphors, which may involve discussion of genitalia or bodily functions (a two-fer)
Now I don't mind repetitive plot points. I'm always a sucker for quirky characters and wacky hijinks, but these plot points are so dull. I don't need all plot points in books to be huge or momentous, but these books never even depict the simplicity or every day routines of these characters lives in an interesting way, so I am just bored. I realize that everyday life is not that exciting. But if you insist on writing about everyday life, authors, you still have to make me care. However the authors of these books never do.
Further, the authors think it is enough to explain what is going on these characters lives, but they never really give me a reason to care about these characters. These characters are merely stock types that are really not that different from one book to another, their minor crises are just a bit different. Further, not only are they stock characters (because two-dimensional wacky characters still amuse me), these characters are miserable, and the only other character trait besides being miserable is that they are unable to communicate with those they love. I don't want to read at least three hundred, if not four hundred, pages of characters being miserable and unable to communicate and therefore becoming more miserable. These characters are just as two dimensional as their more entertaining counterparts (The wacky grandma! The nosy neighbors! The overly intrusive family! ), and even worse they are not even entertaining or interesting.
I really do not understand why these books garner such acclaim. Is it really that interesting that authors use the words fuck and penis, write overly involved metaphors, and explain the everyday minutiae of life in a step by step way? Is it supposed to be innovative that not one character is happy or at least has some interesting character traits? I hope not.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Gauche and Unsophisticated List: Guilty Pleasures Update
Just in case you were all concerned that bar studying has prevented my ability to consume large amounts of fickle entertainment, have no fear. My viewing habits continue to be shallow and fickle and here's an update!
Movies:
Now I'm sure, my many loyal readers (just let me have my delusions of blogging grandeur, okay?) have been wondering why I have not described my movie guilty pleasures with many tangential anecdotes, and that is because my movie guilty pleasures are really too numerous to list. Let's just say if it is a cheesy romantic comedy, where the leads have excellent chemistry, and there are many two dimensionally quirky supporting characters - I will probably love it. Here's a few examples - While You Were Sleeping, Miss Congeniality, The Wedding Singer, and The Cutting Edge (only first one though - not the sequels - I have some standards). Also I frequently rewatch cheesy teen movies - Can't Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You (when I was 16 I watched this six times in one weekend - and still watch it more than once a year), Bring It On (again, only the first one), and Drive Me Crazy (Adrien Grenier is so-o dreamy). This is just the tip of the iceburg though, I have enjoyed many a cheesy movie, over and over again.
Somehow my close high school friends, Joooooan!, RToo, and Weather Girl, who did not care for these movies at all, still patiently went with me, and even smiled and nodded when I extolled the fact that our little foursome was similar to group of friends in Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood without the abusive childhoods, tragic deaths, and alcoholism. And I'm still grateful that RToo did not smack me once when I started asking if the first Lord of the Rings movie was going to end soon at the hour and a half mark.
Television:
What is summer without more bad television shows to watch? Though I am supposed to be studying for the bar, I do love many summer television shows. Of course I am watching So You Think You Can Dance and The Mole, but here's a few more that are slightly less justifiable.
Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods:
The title really does say it all, but here's a brief synopsis - this is a reality show that is casting for next girl to be Elle Woods in Legally Blonde the Musical. Ten young women from ages 18 - 28 live in a house and go through "Broadway Bootcamp" (singing, dancing, scenes), and one of them will learn so much from the experience that she will be picked for the part. Now I was very involved with high school and community theater back home. I portrayed such deep and evocative roles as Wife #4 in the King and I, Scottish Girl with Solo in Brigadoon, and Rosie the Dance Hall Girl in the Annual Ferndale Heritage Society Murder Mystery in the Park fundraiser. Sadly my biggest role was when I was Captain Hook in my elementary school production of Peter Pan when I was in the sixth grade. Once I hit college I was quite involved with the musical theater club. Despite this involvement, I never learned to harmonize, improvise (I suck at the game Freeze) or pick up choreography, so sadly I will never be a Broadway star.
However, I have done my fair share of auditions and know plenty of theater people, so this show just amuses me. The singing, the choreography, the cold reads and overemoting for the stage, the frustration when someone who is weaker than you gets praised and you get criticized - I love it all and remember the agony. Though the process is drawn out, the presentations in front of the judges are similar to an audition, though we never got feedback. Also, I firmly believe that theater people should never live together, and they have all ten hopefuls living together in the same house, so of course there's plenty of drama and fighting. Along with sniping, I quite enjoy self righteously criticizing the performances - She was flat! She is phony! She is using the wrong tone in her line reading! She is behind on her choreography! Half of these auditioners are too young for the part! Though I have no skills, I still love to judge. Of course I am overinvested in this series and if either Autumn or Natalie don't win, I will be very disappointed.
American Gladiators:
I have mentioned before that when I was younger, I loved the original American Gladiators. When the new series came out, at first I thought that it would not compare to the cheesy fantasticness of the old series, and I was appalled that there weren't more burly women. (Come on, Gladiators are supposed to be intimidating, Venom is not intimidating - Ice could totally snap her like a twig!) That said, I have become addicted to the new series as well - Wolf and Titan's antics amuse me, Justice is so strong yet so sweet and such a good sport, and I am impressed by Crush's joust skills - still undefeated! However, that said, I have to watch this show recorded on DVR, because this show has way too many contestant interviews and Hulk blather, I just watch it for the wacky events and Gladiator posturing. Also on DVR, I can watch the entire show in 25 minutes.
Also, I am looking forward to the premiere of Wipeout on ABC in a few weeks. I already love the wacky obstacles courses and events on both American Gladiators and Ninja Warrior, so why not add one more show with those elements?
Of course these are only the cheesiest shows of the cheesy - there are some marginally good shows that I've also watched frequently including Bones (but not the finale - slight spoiler coming, I can handle most things except for character assassination - poor Zach!), Greek (will Casey stand up to Rebecca already? Sheesh!), The Middleman (rapid fire dialogue and meta references make the show slightly intelligent, right?), and Army Wives (Affairs! Surrogacy for money! Child against Parent domestic violence! Melodramatic high school relationships! Two hostage situations! And all in the first season, who knows what the second season will bring?).
All right back to bar studying. Ugh!
Movies:
Now I'm sure, my many loyal readers (just let me have my delusions of blogging grandeur, okay?) have been wondering why I have not described my movie guilty pleasures with many tangential anecdotes, and that is because my movie guilty pleasures are really too numerous to list. Let's just say if it is a cheesy romantic comedy, where the leads have excellent chemistry, and there are many two dimensionally quirky supporting characters - I will probably love it. Here's a few examples - While You Were Sleeping, Miss Congeniality, The Wedding Singer, and The Cutting Edge (only first one though - not the sequels - I have some standards). Also I frequently rewatch cheesy teen movies - Can't Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You (when I was 16 I watched this six times in one weekend - and still watch it more than once a year), Bring It On (again, only the first one), and Drive Me Crazy (Adrien Grenier is so-o dreamy). This is just the tip of the iceburg though, I have enjoyed many a cheesy movie, over and over again.
Somehow my close high school friends, Joooooan!, RToo, and Weather Girl, who did not care for these movies at all, still patiently went with me, and even smiled and nodded when I extolled the fact that our little foursome was similar to group of friends in Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood without the abusive childhoods, tragic deaths, and alcoholism. And I'm still grateful that RToo did not smack me once when I started asking if the first Lord of the Rings movie was going to end soon at the hour and a half mark.
Television:
What is summer without more bad television shows to watch? Though I am supposed to be studying for the bar, I do love many summer television shows. Of course I am watching So You Think You Can Dance and The Mole, but here's a few more that are slightly less justifiable.
Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods:
The title really does say it all, but here's a brief synopsis - this is a reality show that is casting for next girl to be Elle Woods in Legally Blonde the Musical. Ten young women from ages 18 - 28 live in a house and go through "Broadway Bootcamp" (singing, dancing, scenes), and one of them will learn so much from the experience that she will be picked for the part. Now I was very involved with high school and community theater back home. I portrayed such deep and evocative roles as Wife #4 in the King and I, Scottish Girl with Solo in Brigadoon, and Rosie the Dance Hall Girl in the Annual Ferndale Heritage Society Murder Mystery in the Park fundraiser. Sadly my biggest role was when I was Captain Hook in my elementary school production of Peter Pan when I was in the sixth grade. Once I hit college I was quite involved with the musical theater club. Despite this involvement, I never learned to harmonize, improvise (I suck at the game Freeze) or pick up choreography, so sadly I will never be a Broadway star.
However, I have done my fair share of auditions and know plenty of theater people, so this show just amuses me. The singing, the choreography, the cold reads and overemoting for the stage, the frustration when someone who is weaker than you gets praised and you get criticized - I love it all and remember the agony. Though the process is drawn out, the presentations in front of the judges are similar to an audition, though we never got feedback. Also, I firmly believe that theater people should never live together, and they have all ten hopefuls living together in the same house, so of course there's plenty of drama and fighting. Along with sniping, I quite enjoy self righteously criticizing the performances - She was flat! She is phony! She is using the wrong tone in her line reading! She is behind on her choreography! Half of these auditioners are too young for the part! Though I have no skills, I still love to judge. Of course I am overinvested in this series and if either Autumn or Natalie don't win, I will be very disappointed.
American Gladiators:
I have mentioned before that when I was younger, I loved the original American Gladiators. When the new series came out, at first I thought that it would not compare to the cheesy fantasticness of the old series, and I was appalled that there weren't more burly women. (Come on, Gladiators are supposed to be intimidating, Venom is not intimidating - Ice could totally snap her like a twig!) That said, I have become addicted to the new series as well - Wolf and Titan's antics amuse me, Justice is so strong yet so sweet and such a good sport, and I am impressed by Crush's joust skills - still undefeated! However, that said, I have to watch this show recorded on DVR, because this show has way too many contestant interviews and Hulk blather, I just watch it for the wacky events and Gladiator posturing. Also on DVR, I can watch the entire show in 25 minutes.
Also, I am looking forward to the premiere of Wipeout on ABC in a few weeks. I already love the wacky obstacles courses and events on both American Gladiators and Ninja Warrior, so why not add one more show with those elements?
Of course these are only the cheesiest shows of the cheesy - there are some marginally good shows that I've also watched frequently including Bones (but not the finale - slight spoiler coming, I can handle most things except for character assassination - poor Zach!), Greek (will Casey stand up to Rebecca already? Sheesh!), The Middleman (rapid fire dialogue and meta references make the show slightly intelligent, right?), and Army Wives (Affairs! Surrogacy for money! Child against Parent domestic violence! Melodramatic high school relationships! Two hostage situations! And all in the first season, who knows what the second season will bring?).
All right back to bar studying. Ugh!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
If I wind up failing the bar, this is why - others who share my literary guilt
I'm not the only one who loved The Babysitters' Club and Sweet Valley High throughout my early adolescence. Enjoy! Especially if you are taking the Massachusetts bar in July (mua-ha-ha).
Also Heather and Jessica from Go Fug Yourself also have individual blogs.
Oh internet, why must you be so tempting and evil?
Now two days later I also found a blog mocking Lurlene McDaniel books (you know the books where beautiful, yet terminally ill, thin girls find love and die).
How am I ever going to focus on common law and Massachusetts distinctions when I can read snark about Claudia's outfits, Lila's bitchery, and tragic love?
Also Heather and Jessica from Go Fug Yourself also have individual blogs.
Oh internet, why must you be so tempting and evil?
Now two days later I also found a blog mocking Lurlene McDaniel books (you know the books where beautiful, yet terminally ill, thin girls find love and die).
How am I ever going to focus on common law and Massachusetts distinctions when I can read snark about Claudia's outfits, Lila's bitchery, and tragic love?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Gauche and Unsophisticated List: I am so middle-American
Now when I was an angsty adolescent back in Ferndale, I longed for the day when I would escape to the wonders of college where of course I would protest, participate in open mike nights, engage in wonderfully intellectual discussions, and such.
Well...that did not happen, I found I really wasn't confrontational enough for protesting in college and I was unimpressed by the pseudo hippies at my school. College hippies annoyed me, in fact. Here were my thoughts on college hippies: oh for Pete's sake, freshman year you were waltzing about in tight, expensive outfits, and you insisted on washing your hair two days into the WOA (outdoor orientation) trip, possibly polluting the lake we were swimming in, and now all of a sudden you're wearing hemp - please! What - college a time for self discovery? Nonsense! As you see, I did continue to be slightly sanctimonious. Shocker!
Here are some other reasons why many might consider me quite representative of all that is wrong with America!
I love free refills. The one thing I really missed when I was studying abroad in Chile, was that I could not get free refills for my soda. This was very sad.
One of the main casseroles in my recipe repertoire is a chicken noodle casserole (which I so creatively named Creamy Chicken Noodles when I was five) that uses one can of cream of mushroom soup. Preservatives have never tasted so delicious.
Since living in Boston, there are times that I miss Target and Old Navy. Both of these stores are in the Boston suburbs, which are a pain in the neck to get to on public transit. One of the bigger highlights of my Spring Break - was a field trip to the suburban strip malls - it was grand.
You know those fruity or chocolately alcoholic beverages that desecrate the majesty that is liquor, I drink them, I love them. Hard alcohol is delicious when mixed with fruit juice, coconut milk, or Baileys. Also I hate scotch, beverages should not taste like BBQ smoke.
I made an effort to go to the Brookline Farmers Market this summer. While the strawberries were delicious, I found that I like having a wide variety of produce year round (when I remember to eat produce), so eating locally is never going to happen for me (no avocados, no pineapple, no thank you!). I also like being able to buy all my groceries in one place, yay convenience!
Finally, the only Barbara Kingsolver book that I liked was The Bean Trees (and I love this book), the book she wrote before she decided to lecture her readers about her issue d'jour in her novels. Yes that means that I do not think that The Poisonwood Bible was the best book ever or a new classic.
My inner seventeen year old is so ashamed right now.
Well...that did not happen, I found I really wasn't confrontational enough for protesting in college and I was unimpressed by the pseudo hippies at my school. College hippies annoyed me, in fact. Here were my thoughts on college hippies: oh for Pete's sake, freshman year you were waltzing about in tight, expensive outfits, and you insisted on washing your hair two days into the WOA (outdoor orientation) trip, possibly polluting the lake we were swimming in, and now all of a sudden you're wearing hemp - please! What - college a time for self discovery? Nonsense! As you see, I did continue to be slightly sanctimonious. Shocker!
Here are some other reasons why many might consider me quite representative of all that is wrong with America!
I love free refills. The one thing I really missed when I was studying abroad in Chile, was that I could not get free refills for my soda. This was very sad.
One of the main casseroles in my recipe repertoire is a chicken noodle casserole (which I so creatively named Creamy Chicken Noodles when I was five) that uses one can of cream of mushroom soup. Preservatives have never tasted so delicious.
Since living in Boston, there are times that I miss Target and Old Navy. Both of these stores are in the Boston suburbs, which are a pain in the neck to get to on public transit. One of the bigger highlights of my Spring Break - was a field trip to the suburban strip malls - it was grand.
You know those fruity or chocolately alcoholic beverages that desecrate the majesty that is liquor, I drink them, I love them. Hard alcohol is delicious when mixed with fruit juice, coconut milk, or Baileys. Also I hate scotch, beverages should not taste like BBQ smoke.
I made an effort to go to the Brookline Farmers Market this summer. While the strawberries were delicious, I found that I like having a wide variety of produce year round (when I remember to eat produce), so eating locally is never going to happen for me (no avocados, no pineapple, no thank you!). I also like being able to buy all my groceries in one place, yay convenience!
Finally, the only Barbara Kingsolver book that I liked was The Bean Trees (and I love this book), the book she wrote before she decided to lecture her readers about her issue d'jour in her novels. Yes that means that I do not think that The Poisonwood Bible was the best book ever or a new classic.
My inner seventeen year old is so ashamed right now.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Gauche and Unsophisticated List: I am a bad union daughter!
My parents are both proud union members, and my dad has ranted to me about right to work states for years (though he was a Republican for years and voted for Bush in 2000 - odd!), and my mom frequently emphasized that her union ensures excellent health care coverage for all its employees. So I try to be a good union daughter - not crossing picket lines (Dad has threatened to disown me if I ever did), avoiding shopping at Wal-Mart, and all that. The writers strike has made me very annoyed about the lack of decent T.V., and I do support the WGA's efforts and think they should not write another word until they get better residuals for both DVDs and new media. Therefore during the writers strike, I thought I should make a valiant effort to avoid watching the new reality show dreck and not buy TV on DVD.
However....these valiant efforts have not stopped me from getting sucked into the new American Gladiators. I have tried to justify this latest TV obsession by telling myself that this show was in development before the strike, so therefore it was likely to have made the schedule anyway, and I should not feel so ashamed. Entertainment Weekly, however, seems to want to do its damndest to make all the watchers feel guilty and stupid, which of course makes me annoyed because I hate it when quasi-hipster magazines and websites call me stupid.
However, tonight Eli Stone is premiering on ABC. The trailer looks intriguing, it has received good reviews, Berlanti is the show runner. So I should totally watch this right? Well, it is being recorded on the DVR. What am I watching instead? Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo.
However....these valiant efforts have not stopped me from getting sucked into the new American Gladiators. I have tried to justify this latest TV obsession by telling myself that this show was in development before the strike, so therefore it was likely to have made the schedule anyway, and I should not feel so ashamed. Entertainment Weekly, however, seems to want to do its damndest to make all the watchers feel guilty and stupid, which of course makes me annoyed because I hate it when quasi-hipster magazines and websites call me stupid.
However, tonight Eli Stone is premiering on ABC. The trailer looks intriguing, it has received good reviews, Berlanti is the show runner. So I should totally watch this right? Well, it is being recorded on the DVR. What am I watching instead? Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo.
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